An Elderly Parent

Watching a beloved parent deteriorate is the saddest thing a child can go through, regardless of age.  For those of us lucky enough to have a mother and father that were and are greatly loved becoming the caregiver for them is a type of payback for all they have done for their children.  Despite the fact, that some of those kids are totally disinterested in helping parents, in their time of need, as it will disrupt their lives.  Usually, one child will step up.

It tends to fall to the least selfish.  The one who has the wherewithal to put that parent’s welfare first.  This can cause rifts within the family dynamic as there is no fairness when it comes to taking on these responsibilities.  Yet, to cherish every moment spent with a loved one in their twilight years is definitely a blessing.  It can be hard; yes as health issues will be a constant challenge.

Even with the ravages of dementia, in its many forms, tough times should be treasured.  While this disease can rob some of their natural characteristics, there can be fleeting glimpses of the people they used to be.  This can be the most heartening of circumstances.  Little victories become vast triumphs.

Everyone handles this phase of life in a different manner.  Some will ignore it.  Some will embrace it.  Like everything else you get out of it what you put in.  The last resort will be to make the most difficult of decisions; to have them put into a home.  There are so many emotions that will play on one’s mind as to what the best choice will be.  The guilt associated with shoving a mother or father away, out of sight, simply for convenience, can be devastating.

What it all comes down to, is giving and doing your best for another.  An elderly parent needs the same love and care as the tiniest baby.  Please, be kind to the vulnerable.  Think about what it best for everyone involved.  We shall all be old one day (if we are lucky) let us help each other.

Network Of Friends

Everyone knows that a problem shared is lessened in its intensity.  The best way to alleviate the stress and strain of any situation is to communicate the difficulty to a trusted friend.  The simple act of unburdening yourself will bring relief.  For some reason, we can act in the totally opposite direction and close ranks.  It may be pride or it may be fear that brings on such destructive notions?

Whatever the reason, being open and honest is the best way to go.  Allowing the vulnerability to show does not denote weakness.  In fact, it will manifest in a strength one never knew they possessed.

Often during, stressful times, the last thing we want is for people to be kind.  It can play on the emotions when we are at our most sensitive.  Some people cannot handle such warmth from loved ones and that is why they will retreat. 

In my experience, it is best to allow the well wishes and true support to penetrate the fear.  Love will always wash away the negative influences.  We can be our own harshest critic.  And sometimes it is the amount of self-talk that will exhaust us.

Those who are lucky enough to possess a number of pals who will give positive inspiration should take heart.  As these very people will offer aid in the tough times.  The more that is shared, the better the chance of moving forward.  Whether we know it or like it, keeping things in, is never conducive to a healthy life.  We may want to remain silent.  Suffering along the way.  And not being a burden to others.  These notions while unselfish do more harm to an individual than letting it all out.

It may take some courage to open one’s heart and soul by allowing others to give succour.  It is well worth it though.  Upstanding companions will always be there for one another.  Giving them the opportunity to present solace is a positive for them as much as it is for you.  We are all here to make each other’s lives better.   Giver or receiver, in this chain of events, all will benefit from a network of friends.

Signs From The Universe

It may take time and practise to recognize these signs.  They are always there.  Whether in the form of symbols or familiar names of people which have meaning, they come into one’s life seemingly at random intervals.  Yet, when such indicators reveal themselves they must be acted upon.

If unaware, they can be missed then the opportunities for achieving are lost.  This does not have to be permanent.  As, once things are meant to be, there will be other chances to forge ahead and follow the path meant.

Destiny has a way of finding those who seek it.  The key is, one must make the effort.  It matters not, how long it may take nor which road one treads.  The inevitable outcome will result.  All will be unearthed when the simplest steps are heeded to begin a life’s journey.

It may be relationships or careers that steer the course, whatever choice is made, it should be followed to its logical conclusion.

No one is immune to the ongoing trials of life.  So, even while pursuing what one believes is their future, unforeseen circumstances may get in the way.  This can be seen as a universal sign and may lead one off on a different path.  It is up to the individual whether or not they choose to be diverted.  It may direct one to something better or merely add time onto the original destination.  Either way there is value in the experience.

Every avenue one takes can be a learning adventure and that is never a bad thing.  Knowledge gained will always hold merit.  One never knows when or how that education can be used at a later date or time.

The universe has a strange way of aligning contingency plans in order for a person to obey.  Acting on these is paramount!  Take a chance, never allow fear or uncertainty to stop you from seeking a goal that is there for the taking.

Watch for the signs!

Stepping Up

There are times in everyone’s life where in order to help out a loved one, you must step up and give aid where and when needed.  This can manifest in many different forms.  It could be through illness, vulnerability, or simply being there for a friend.

No one can say how they will react in dire circumstances until they are faced with situations beyond their control.  It, truly, does bring out the worst or best in people.

All will be tested at some time.  Doing the right thing brings with it, confidence and warm feelings.  There is nothing so satisfying as giving of yourself.  Especially, to loved ones in need.

Yet, not everybody will see these situations as the oportunities they are.  Some will selfishly only care about the disruption to their own lives.  Helping others does tend to pinpoint the focus on people outside yourself.  It can be a hard pill to swallow.  Particularly, when feeling sorry for yourself.  It may be that one is too wrapped up in themselves.  There are times when concentration must be placed inwardly.  To get the most out of life the direction should always be towards others.

Sometimes, the pressure of responsibility becomes too great.  People can run away or shirk their duty.  Leaving it up to someone, anyone else.  This, of course, may cause bad feelings.  Especially, if one’s obligations are foisted onto another, leaving them with all the work to do.  Families experience this conundrum all the time.  Resentment and anger soon follow.

Even this can be conquered by the simple act of maneuvering through the process with a light heart.  We all choose how to react to the conditions we are confronted with.  Finding a way to make the best of any dilemma will enhance the happenings for all involved.

The choice is always ours.  Running away or abandoning those who need us will only produce negativity.  This, in turn, will work against any good intentions we may possess.  Step up and do your part for your own peace of mind.  The universe may reward you for it, as well!

Good Friends

Everyone wishes they had such people in their lives.  The kind of human beings who will be in your corner and give love and support without question, when needed.  In reality, these people are hard to come by.  Most are more interested in their own lives and will not put themselves out for family members never mind those not related to them.

Yet, there must be some who will go above and beyond the call of duty for their pals.  When one finds a paragon of this magnitude they must be cherished.  It follows that to be in possession of loyalty is a two-way street.  Offering the same treatment is a must.  Fair is fair.

It is possible that friendship comes in the form of a member of the family. So long as the familiar dynamic can be overlooked.  We are all people, in our own right, and concentrating on that fact will allow the close association to override any ancestry angst.  

Whether good friends come from within the clan or not, once there is an unbreakable connection between two or more people, that is when we can move mountains.

Of course, acquaintances do fall out, it happens.  Even best friends can drift apart.  Sometimes, that does not hinder the scope of fellowship.  Physical distance may not mean a gap in the relationship.  As humans, we tend to crave the companionship of others.  There are not many who lack any sort of connections.  It is in our natures to work together to bring a happier life to all.  This benefits mankind.  On some level we all understand that and instinctively become a party to the furtherance of the species.

Whatever the reason we seek out the friendship of another, it does not matter. Generosity, kindness and love is all we can ask of ourselves or them.  These traits will attract the type of people who will make good friends.  Open up your heart and release the goodness inside.  It will come back to you, in spades.


Losing one’s way and reverting back into old habits is the lot of everyone.  Setting out to improve oneself will not prevent this from happening.  Working on being a better person can be the greatest journey a human being can participate in.  Acquiring the knowledge and wisdom is exciting.  More thrilling is actually putting into practise, what one has learned.

Self help books are useful.  They have a purpose and the intention is to aid all to a better life.  Most of the time, the end result is not so.  The reason being, is that to get a different outcome change has got to be taken on board and really embraced.

Lasting reformation, is possible, yet even some alternatives can have a limit.  And that includes noticeable changes which  have not taken place quick enough.  All that is learned is thrown over for the comfortable way one is used to.  As soon as this occurs, the non-results begins again and no one is any better off.

The old habits and ways are taken on as it becomes too hard to wait for any beneficial outcome.  This leads to a downward spiral of good intentions that are overrun by poor choices.  Despite the fact, one thinks they are taking on a more positive position and have adjusted their behaviour.  It may not be true.  

The mindset must truly be fixed.  This is more difficult than it seems as we are trying to improve a mind that has a myriad of flaws to begin with.  If we possessed the type of mind that was bent on the success of changing, it would not need altering.  As our thinking is wrong, it takes a great deal to correct it in order to begin the progress of any permanent, lasting changes.
Can it be done?  Of course, it can.  Will it take time and effort?  You bet.  Will it be worth it?  Absolutely!  Anyone who has tried to get themselves to progress and become better knows anything is possible.  This is the attitude to hold on to.  We, all, have enough resources within to make the hoped-for modifications.

Labels: The Lies We Tell Ourselves

Been reading an interesting book, ‘Mindset’ by Carol S Dweck, and the section on the tags that are foisted on everyone from an early age is having a profound effect.  These perceived ‘bad’ labels, and sometimes more positive destinations will be used against anyone with the mindset of lack.  

Praising a child for being bright can have unusual consequences where they no longer try to learn anything new.  Believing the brand causes them to not put in any effort to improve.  This resonates on many levels.  Thinking back over a regular childhood, it can be seen where some names that were thrust upon one, influence in an individual throughout their lives.  And not in a positive, productive way.  

The classifications may not be bad, by any means, but they can stop a person from giving their best in areas where a natural ability is possessed.  Who knows where one could have ended up if they had had the encouragement to nurture the gifts that were born in them?

The reason this is so interesting is the realization and acknowledgement of how important it is to have the correct mindset.  What we believe (whether true or not, has no bearing) constant learning is the most important thing in order to reach goals.  Recognizing these destructive attributes will change them, of course, yet having them in the first place is jarring.

And there are aspects about a more positive outlook that can be possessed.  Dig deeper and despite the fact the belief of ‘we can all learn, grow and ultimately change’ the actions that have been participated in, shows a completely different and negatively-impacted mindset.  Now, no one is perfect and that, is a good thing.  Perfection does not exist nor ever will.  Challenging ourselves in most areas proves we are in a winning frame of mind.

Yet, spending the early part of life not even trying for the simple reason that every report card claimed a student to be average is disheartening.  Especially, in regards to subjects which they excelled in.  This can force the individual into a ‘why bother’ attitude.

At least, knowing that improvements will be made and struggle is a good thing, will force one to be better.  Only took decades to correct.