A Better Solution

Making mistakes is the most human of acts.  No one likes to look foolish and that is why it can be so difficult to admit to the inevitable slip-ups.  Perfection is a non-issue or should be, as there is no such thing as flawlessness.  Yes, sometimes the stars align and everything falls into place, more often than not there is room for improvement.

The trick is to find satisfaction in doing one’s best.  In reality it is all that can be expected.  There are some who will seek out the tiniest of blunders and harp on those until all the positivity is destroyed.  I know this to be true as there is a side of me that has gone down this road.  It is a sad and lonely existence.  

On the other hand, perfection can be just as annoying.  I have never met an individual without defects but I am sure there are many who believe themselves to be so.  I cannot think of anything more boring.  Our faults are what make life interesting for others and ourselves.  They should be embraced.

That does not mean, if one is breaking the law and deliberately hurting another we should praise them for that kind of foible.  I am speaking of our naggin traits like stubbornness, arrogance or forgetfulness.  These are learned behaviours that niggle rather than cause physical harm.  We all know people who exhibit these mannerisms (may be closer than we want to admit) and finding anyone who overlooks the nonsense, will be the start of a true friendship.

Being lenient towards our fellow humans will allow one the freedom to be wrong.  It might seem strange to say, but this is a good thing.  Making mistakes will force us to find a better solution and give us the motivation to grow.  Knowledge and learning can only expand through the trail and error phase of life.  Yes, we can learn from other people’s experience but there is nothing like your  own mistakes to hammer home the lesson.

To err is human, to be a better person is to learn from those errors.


Suspicious Minds

There is a part of all humans that distrusts.  It could be directed at strangers but more likely affects those closest to us.  This hard truth manifests after one has been let down by those nearest and dearest to them.  It happens.  We cannot please everyone.  Not even ourselves.

It may be healthy to be cautious and not simply allow blind faith to run amok.  A bad experience may just change everything.  One can go from a trusting individual to a person full of doubts.  Being sceptical of everyone and everything.  This is an extreme that does not need to be reached.  Easy to say, hard to do when your judgements have come into question.

The sad fact is, once you lose confidence in your ability to ascertain fact from fiction, it effects all areas of your life.  Suddenly, nothing is believed and all ideas and notions are dealt with apprehensively.  This, of course, can lead to a road down ‘negative mindset alley’.  This does not have to become the end result as due diligence can be meted out by observing one’s thoughts.  This will culminate in choosing constructive ways and means that can be better utilized.

For those less self aware, it can turn disasterous rather quickly.  Mistrust and uncertainty might lead to bad feelings or vice versa.  Finding that a person in position of trust has betrayed one may well create the ill feeling of suspicion.  No one likes to think they have fallen into this category with a friend or relative.  It occurs more often than one might think.

Allowing such damaging thoughts to permeate one’s very being will bring forth a degree of deep-seated resentments.  This will alter a person’s nature and not for the better.

Watching it take place in another can be heart wrenching.  When an otherwise unsuspecting person permits fear and suspicion into their minds, it will cause them to be less friendly and they will put up walls.  Never conducive to a peaceful existence.

Having a hypercritical view may aid in the avoidance of pain but it also disallows love to reign.  Be cautious, if needs must, but never let that turn into outright shady dealings.  It should never get that far.  Finding a happy medium and knowing love can conquer any nefarious misdeeds will help one’s confidence level.

Love over suspicions wins every time.

Spread The Fun

If there is anything I have learned over the last couple of  weeks, it is that the things you have fun with or whatever makes you laugh, can effect others.  Allowing everyone in on the merriment only makes for more joy.  As shared humour brings with it a meeting of the minds. A gathering filled with happiness is meaningful in ways that are not always verbally expressed.

Everyone loves to laugh and have fun.  Finding someone who understands your sense of humour can be liberating.  It speaks to that part of us that does not want to be alone.  Connecting with others is as human a trait as one can get.  When that bond takes place over amusing content we feel a unity that can be extremely powerful.  There is something to be said for the inclusion of many.  

Having spent the majority of my life noticing the unusual things we all do and pointing them out, to only a few close friends, I understand the benefits that laughter brings.  Without wanting to go the route of stand-up comedian or anything of that nature and being a quiet, reserved type, it is easy to keep the musings to a minimum.  Still, as anyone who enjoys making others laugh knows, it gets in your blood and the more people you can inject with a bit of humour, the more energy filled you become.  It is a mutually beneficial endeavour.

The Internet has offered a whole new avenue for allowing complete strangers to get to know one’s humour.  All the social media outlets can be utilized for the purpose of spreading good cheer.   No one is immune to giving the gift of laughter. Parents do it with children, kids do it with their friends and even co-workers can spend parts of their mundane days finding ways to amuse each other.

There are some people who pride themselves on being serious and austere.  These are the ones most in need of levity.  All it takes is to find their funny bone; it is there, just hidden.

The world is so full of crap these days it is virtuous to purposefully attempt to make others smile.  Spread the fun!

Your Own Worst Enemy

This is a concept that hit home rather accurately.  Being one’s own worst enemy seems an odd notion yet for those of us who are hell bent on self-destruction it does not enter the mind as an eventuality.  Despite the fact, that one can inflict damages to themselves without any effort.  Facing the truth of this negative trait will be a foreign idea.

To foolishly throw oneself on one’s own petard without benefit of a solution is the actions of a tortured soul.  Especially, to others who would sooner impose their injuries outwards.  Being a martyr can seem a more gentle or even Christian way to go regarding conflicts.  Yet, it can be seen as a passive aggressive means of getting one’s own way.

Digging deeper, it is a form of self-sabotage.   To give up, in the hopes of mercy from another will never result in the expected leniency.  No one will give due consideration to the things that are important to you.  Others have their own agenda and will stick to that.

Recognizing this trait while in the midst of an argument is shocking.  The route of wrecking havoc without thought of peace of mind is extremely easy to fall back into.  Even after years of study to change a negative mindset into positive thinking.  

This leads to the realization of how significant it is to guard our thoughts.  Careful reflection before acting must be heeded.  Now, in the heat of any emotional situations this may be difficult.  One must train themselves to control any hot-blooded tangents and remain cool and calm. 

If this is part of your make-up, take heart; it can be changed.  Face it and find a better way.  Making peace with yourself is as momentous a force as it is with others.

Going Too Far

The ability to self-govern has become a lost art.  Too many times we get caught up in circumstances beyond our supervision.  Steps are taken to get the ball rolling and all of a sudden a huge snowball is thundering through what should be a normal life.  Only, nothing is ordinary and the ability to rein-in becomes impossible.

Maybe it is a lack of control?  Not sure, as I am the polar opposite of a control-freak and will totally let things play through, allowing the chips to fall where they may.  Does this mean the only good in life is that which can be manipulated?  I do not believe so.  Commanding, by its very nature stunts the flow of liberty.  Without freedom, we are all lost.

There is the risk of letting that unrestricted action overcome common sense and have good taste along with nobility suffer and be buried under the guise of free and easy proceedings.  This can be off-putting, as it involves too much management.  There must be a happy medium which allows for open and honest play within the confines of the rules and regulations of decent behaviour.

Letting loose may be fine, every once in a while, but even that must have its limits.  Breaching the boundaries will bring about original ideas and those thoughts can push people away.  Their discomfort will force them to run as far and as fast in the other direction.

So, while knowing your own limits is important, it is just as vital that the outer-reaches of others is to be considered when one wants to push the envelope and go beyond that which is acceptable fun.  This has been the case throughout history.  This is what helps us all grow and move past what is considered normal.

Having too much of a good thing can turn ugly, fast.  Going too far and suppressing ourselves then pushing again and retreating seems to be the best method of getting people used to the coming changes.  Incremental steps.  Resting and then forward motion will propel all of us into the future.

Grateful For All

Did you know that the people who donate the most, have the most?  And did you know that that does not necessarily refer to money?  It may be the first image that pops into your head because the Bill Gates and Warren Buffet’s of this world have more than enough to share for some countries, never mind people.  

So, of course, they can afford to part with a million or two.  While this is correct regarding monetary success, the theory holds true for every aspect of all living souls.  If money is what you have in abundance, by all means dispense that.  If you have a profusion of certain attributes this is where you should consider freely bestowing those gifts.  It could be a sense of humour, your ability to cook, perhaps it may be an art form?  Sharing these parts of one’s life with those who lack in the area, becomes a blessing for everyone.
Giving from the heart is far more meaningful than all the money that both Gates and Buffet possess.  Yes, we all would love to be as wealthy as they are but all their money does not guarantee happiness.  Nor does it testify to one’s misery.  The state is our minds is a total separate entity that can and will stand on it’s own.  Excessive funds will never change a wretched person into someone with an neverending sunny disposition.  That must come from within and be in place when wealth shows up.

Most people desperately want to prove this theory a fallacy.  They soon learn just how true it is.  There is an art to being happy.  It takes practise.  

Blocking out all anguish and misfortune which one is battered with via the media, family, or well-meaning friends can be laborious.  Confronting such disagreeableness may only create more of it.  Let it go.

Give out more love, happiness and kindness and watch how life improves.  All the good will never suppress the bad in the world but it shall not contribute to it either.  This, alone, will stand one in good stead.

If you believe in karma or the Golden Rule, it starts with you.  To obtain peace, send out serenity.  To acquire riches, give wisely and freely.  To recieve the kind of love you want, grant that affection without prejudice to all you come in contact with.  Give openly, expect nothing in return but be grateful for all.

The Truth Conquers All

There is a multitude of manipulation that goes on in the family dynamic.  Parents attempt to control their children or each other.  The kids know how to push the buttons of their mother and/or father in order to get what they want.  And siblings are never without the ability to goad and cajole each other into getting their way.

Now, there may be some folks out there who do not participate in such goings-on; it is rare.  To some degree we all play each other.  It may be to a lesser extent and it might be for the good of a loved one; we do it nonetheless.  Often we will convince ourselves that any disreputable behaviour is beneficial for the others in our lives.

Simple because this is part of the make up of one’s family does not equal cruel and unusual conduct. It is a dysfunction that many have survived and thrived on, only to recreate it with their own children. One bad apple will spoil all the others except for the ones who remain untouched by the rotting process.  

Seeing a mean spirited act is the first step to avoiding contact with it.  That will be a person’s saving grace.  Admitting to a tainting of the same brush will begin the realization of the behaviour in yourself.  Observing without judging will change the outcome.

There is another way to combat such despicable exploits.  The truth.  Not the story one has spun in order to make the manipulation palatable but the cold hard truth.  And that will come with confronting what the ultimate goal is. 

If you want another to do something, instead of conniving them into it, simply ask.  If the answer is ‘no’, move on.  Acceptance will force another solution.  Do not look for the answer that will bring on more unfairness.  Do the deed yourself.  Or have someone else do it who will happily comply.

Be honest and upfront about everything.  That will, in the long run, win over and conquer all forms of underhanded deeds.