Everyone goes through this. It is part of life. As unfortunate as that is, being alive brings with it the heights of joy and the depths of grief. How one processes the loss of a loved one, whether that be those closest to us (husbands, wives, children) or distant relations (once-a-year family members, acquaintances, business associates) or even pets, is a strictly personal thing. No one else can say what is the right or wrong way to endure these difficult times.
When others try to force their ideas of proper conduct onto a person grieving, it says that they are the one with the problem. Especially, if they are harsh with someone. Lashing out speaks of a guilty conscience. For whatever reason they must feel bad about themselves. Why else would one kick another when they are down?
This kind of behaviour occurs over social media all the time. I suppose it is easier to be a nasty piece of work when one can hide behind the anonymity of the Internet. The thing they forget is that words cut. They may perceive that they are standing up for a cause or right and wrong even. Yet, in their admonishment they are, in fact, bullying a person who has lost a loved one. Where is the empathy?
Seeing this first hand through Twitter has been a shocking revelation. Someone’s beloved cat was hit by a car and instead of mourning the loss, some other fool berated the sad cat owner for letting their feline outdoors. Cats are roamers. Some would say, it is far more cruel to keep such an animal indoors.
This could very easily be about a person who smoked and passed away from lung cancer. Would they turn around and blame the husband, wife or children of the deceased? Why people are so inhumane at such a time of sadness is beyond me. We would all do well to keep kindness uppermost in our character.
Yes, people’s emotions can run high at such heart break. Think before you speak (or Tweet). No one wants to wound a fellow human being when they are hurting. Allow everyone to grieve in their own way. Until you have taken a step in their shoes, you have no idea how they truly feel.
And for those grieving, take some deep breathes and know a love shared remains with you always.