‘Regrets, I’ve had a few . . . This is definitely not me. I know the popular mindset is to have as few sorrows as possible and therefore one must live life to the fullest. Do it all, say it all, leave nothing to apologize for.
When one comes to the end of their lives, they want to reflect fondly on a well-rounded (hopefully) long span of years. ‘I wish I had’, ‘I should have’ or ‘could have’ are not the words one wants to reproach oneself about when pondering the choices made.
However long we are given on this planet is time well spent. That is why I must be a space alien of something because I do not get ‘regrets’. That does not mean, I have lived the life of my dreams nor that I have never experienced missed opportunities. We all have. The part that totally passes me by is stressing over those things. How can one lament something that has not been done? To me that is like missing grandparents that you never knew. I do not get it?
I suppose it has to do with discerning what actually is vs what one wants. My sister has often remarked that she missed not having grandparents (ours lived in England while we were in Canada) however what she really missed was not having a grandmother like our mom was to her kids. Both of my parents mothers would never have been the person my mom was. So she was missing something she had made up in her head.
That is really what regrets are about. One can not determine what ‘would have’ or ‘could have’ happened if an action was not taken. It might have been fabulous? It might have been disasterous? So, the only grievance one can have is with the decisions that were taken. But those choices would have been correct at the time. We are not seers of the future. (most of us anyway).
This may sound trite but here goes . . . ‘what’s done , is done’. No need to be ashamed or remorseful. If things are not the way you want them, try something different. Be brave. Step outside the norm and if that does not work, attempt another avenue.
If you have to regret anything, be sad for those you have hurt (intentionally or not). That is the only thing worth our feelings of repentance.