I have learned a new method that I like.  It came from Vishen Lakhiani’s book ‘The Code Of The Extraordinary Mind’.  I am still reading the book but the idea is when setting, what he dubs, ‘end goals’ you choose them based on yourself.  So, if your target is to love your spouse forever, that requires another person’s involvement and therefore may not come to be.  

Instead, the goal becomes ‘being the most loving person’.  Now, your mate benefits from that if they stay with you.  If not,  the choice is ultimately theirs, your aim is still to be loving.

I think this is brilliant.  None of us can control what another person will do therefore bettering ourselves is really the only obtainable goals there are.  

Try it with your desires.  Reconfigure them so they do not depend on what you cannot command of others.  You may end up happier.


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